Will He Leave You Pregnant and Alone?
Too many single women fall into the trap of being left
pregnant and alone. Although their circumstances may differ
they may be engaged to be married, in a monogamous relationship,
have a live-in lover or a casual sex partner, the end result
is always the same.
Their baby's daddy abandons them after they announce that
they are pregnant. Read one Christian woman's account of how
her man went ballistic when she informed him that she was
expecting their child. Could she have avoided the pain and
rejection of being left pregnant and alone? The answer is,
"Yes!" To find out how, keep reading...
This Happen To You?
It seemed like we were so in love. It felt like he was The
One. Since he attended church, it never even crossed my mind
to ask him was he "saved," (born again) until after
we had been involved sexually.
He asked, "Saved from what?" I tried to clearly
explain salvation, but he still did not understand. About
2 years into our relationship, he decided to get baptized.
I later found out that he did it because he suspected that
I might eventually leave him for a man who was born again.
The day of his baptism, he reeked of liquor.
The odor was so loud, it was obvious that he had been drinking.
I asked him, "How can you come into the Lord's house
to be baptized smelling like whiskey?" He bluntly denied
it. He acted as if he had no idea what I was talking about.
One of his many character flaws was his drinking. In hindsight,
he was a functional alcoholic. Not long after that eerie episode,
he asked me to marry him. I am a Christian woman. I should
have known better, but I ignored all of the warning signs.
I accepted his proposal and we set a wedding date. Could this
happen to you? It can if you have formed a soul tie.
Bound By A Soul Tie
After thinking about what I had done, days later I gave the
ring back and moved out of state. It was my way of trying
to break the "soul tie." I thought it would be easier
by moving away. He seemed devastated with the news that I
was leaving. He followed me with the intentions of bringing
me back, but I later realized that his passion for me was
fueled solely by his desire to have sex. Once again, I ignored
the warning signs. We reconciled after he made a heart touching,
emotional plea for me to stay with him.
One night at church, a pastor anointed and prayed over us
to receive the gift of the Holy Spirit. I am not sure if he
received it or not. I don't even know if he was saved. The
truth is, he was only attending church as a means to impress
me so that he could have sex with me. And shamefully, I was
with him because I just wanted A MAN! I had devalued my own
worth as a woman and as a daughter of God.
I somehow believed that I could change him. I was wrong.
If a man refuses to be a man, no woman has the power to change
him. To compound the matter, our soul tie and flesh tie made
breaking up extremely hard. The average person just doesn't
walk away from a relationship after they have established
such a powerful bond. He gave me the engagement ring back,
we went and obtained a blood test and made plans to become
husband and wife.
Thus Saith The Lord, "He Is
Not The One!!!"
One night I got a revelation from the Lord
big as day!
He said, "HE IS NOT THE ONE!" It hurt me to hear
that because I was trying to have my way as opposed to following
God's will for my life. In my heart I knew he was not The
One, but I felt as if things were headed in the right direction.
Especially since we were no longer sexually involved. When
I told him I could not marry him because he was not The One,
once again, he seemed devastated.
Went From Dr. Jekyll To Mr. Hyde
Before I broke off the engagement for the second time, he
convinced me that he was going to relocate to the state I
had moved to. He was so serious, that he sent me a check for
the down payment for his new apartment, but my mind was made
up. Our relationship was over! That's when he switched gears
and went from being gentle to being mean and malicious. In
his anger, he lashed out at me on the telephone. He started
saying things in an attempt to manipulate and control me.
To have sex, some people will do and say anything. I finally
had to hang up on him because the conversation got way out
of hand. He called back and left a profane message on my answering
machine. That should have been the end of our relationship,
but unfortunately, it wasn't. You may be thinking, "Why
didn't you just leave that jerk?" The answer is because
of the soul tie.
The Soul Tie Was Never Broken
I didn't hear from him again until some months later when
I went home to visit my family. I knew it was wrong, but I
allowed myself to fall back into sexual sin. I agreed to talk
with him. We were just supposed to talk, that's it! One thing
led to another and the next thing I knew, we were back in
the midst of sexual heat. That's when I conceived our child.
That moment in time never would have happened, had I broken
that soul tie.
I called to inform him that I was pregnant, he seemed excited.
He even asked me if it was a girl, could we name her Diana.
His second big question was, "What are you going to do
now that you are pregnant?" He assumed that I was going
to move back home and be with him.
I informed him that I was going to stay right where I was
and raise my child. That was not what he wanted to hear. Like
as before, he switched gears on me. He started ranting and
raving, telling me the baby was not his, accusing me of sleeping
around and demanding that I go and tell the real father. From
that time until our child was born, it was a game of charades.
One moment he would claim he was the father, the next moment,
he would adamantly deny the child was his.
You Don't Give It Up - Someone Will!
When our child was about a month old, we went home to visit
him. I wanted him to see and get to know his child. While
we were there, his mind seemed to be elsewhere. As the time
drew near for me to get back on the road, I found out what
he was really thinking about. He asked me, "When are
we going to spend some time together?" I said, "We
are spending time together
with our son!" He made
it clear, he wanted to have sex with me! He never talked to
me about raising our child or showed any concern for our child's
well being. His only concern was having sex.
When I said, "No!" Once again, he blew his self-control
fuse! He let me know that if I didn't give it up, someone
would. I informed him that I was no longer having sex outside
of marriage. I told him that I decided to be obedient to God's
Word and I advised him to do the same. It was something I
should have done when he made his first advance. I cannot
begin to describe the look on his face after I said that.
As I was leaving, he walked us to the car and was speechless
the whole time. Without sex, he literally had nothing to say
to me. The soul tie was broken for good.
The Paternity Test Makes It Official
He eventually demanded a DNA
Paternity Test to determine if he was really the father.
Even after receiving the test results confirming that he was,
he refused to support his child. It has been almost four years
and he has somehow managed to beat the system and evade paying
child support. Although I have a college degree and work for
a major corporation, it has been tough raising a child alone
a little boy at that. The hardest thing is - my child has
yet to say, "I love you, daddy!" In the mean time,
for the sake of my child, I must go on with my life.
I learned that is hard to end a relationship once you become
sexually involved. Even when you start noticing danger signs,
once you engage in sex, breaking up is hard to do. Some people
will stay in a bad relationship just to satisfy their sexual
cravings and others because they are trying to fulfill their
need for companionship or financial support. In the end, you
only end up hurting yourself, becoming depressed and wasting
valuable time. All told, I squandered over three and a half
years with my baby's daddy before we officially broke up.
In that time, I probably could have met and married a godly
Commentary by Gillis Triplett
This young lady was one of the many unwed pregnant women who
contacted our ministry seeking help. I have witnessed countless
women struggle with this issue. For many, the emotional hailstorm
they are forced to go through is absolutely nerve wracking.
They experience everything from severe depression to suicidal
tendencies. They earnestly struggle whether to keep their
child, have an abortion or just give the child away. Some
gave birth and then abandoned their child. Others tried to
find a way to get the baby's daddy to love their child as
much as they did. Unfortunately, the odds were not in their
· The majority of boyfriends leave when their girlfriend
has a baby
Source: "Teen Sex and Pregnancy,"
Facts in Brief, AGI, 1999
· A comprehensive study performed by University of
Georgia's demographer, Doug Bachtel - released in March of
2003, revealed that nearly two thirds of Georgia's Black children
are born out of wedlock. Bachtel said that is the No. 1 problem
facing the state of Georgia. The women didn't need a study
to understand that truth. Read how some of them described
what happened after they informed their boyfriends, lovers
and fiancés that they were pregnant
"He went to one appointment
with me and left halfway through it
he never once
felt my stomach
he later told me he wanted me to have
an abortion. When I refused, he left me
"After I told him I was pregnant,
he just left? He didn't say anything. He just turned around
and walked away!"
"I'm trying my best to get
over the shock and dismay of being abandoned. I know I should
be eating for my baby, but this hurts more than words can
"I don't understand how it
happened, we always used a condom
when I became pregnant,
he immediately changed his phone number. Prior to that time,
he used to tell me that he loved me. He seemed so sincere
Afterwards, he acted like the baby and I didn't exist."
"No man will want to marry
if I have this kid, abortion is my only way out. I don't
want to ruin my chances of getting married
Will Your Boyfriend or Lover - Leave
You Pregnant and Alone?
Are you in a monogamous relationship with a man with whom
you are having sexual relations? Or, are you otherwise sexually
involved? If you become pregnant, will your boyfriend or lover,
leave you pregnant and alone? History, statistics and the
alarming number of unwed mothers, reveal the answer to those
questions is, "Most likely, yes!" You say, "Pastor
Triplett, my man would never abandon me if I get pregnant,
he loves me too much!" Dear heart, the chances of him
sticking with you, marrying you or helping you raise your
child, is extremely slim. I'm not trying to scare you. These
are the irrefutable facts!
When a man has sexual relations with a woman that is not
his wife, he is a dishonorable man. There's no two ways about
it! You cannot expect a dishonorable man to do the honorable
thing. As Founder and CEO of Mastering Manhood, it is a common
thing for me to meet men in their thirties and forties who
still have no clue about manhood.
To prove that point, these men have left numerous women pregnant
and alone. I had a solicitor from one of the District Attorney's
office sit down with me, to try and figure out what to do
about this alarming issue. The solicitor explained how the
courts are backlogged with cases in which the men have three,
four and five children by different women. These men cannot
afford to pay child support to all of their baby's mothers.
That is like demanding them to be financially responsible
for three or more households.
I examined cases in which men were $80,000 to $150,000 in
arrears, in child support and their debt was mounting weekly!
Yet, these men would leave their child support court proceedings
and find another woman to be their girlfriend, fiancée,
live-in lover or booty call. That is not the picture of an
honorable man. That is a picture of a man who is meandering
manhood. If you allow them, these dishonorable males will
add your name to the list of women whose lives they have pilfered
the women who have sex with, fall in love with and put their
confidence in these unfaithful men, life becomes a tense emotional
roller coaster. Where do you go from here? You have to make
a decision to be a woman worthy of honor and respect. Until
that day, you will always be a magnet for: dogs, players,
liars, pew pimps, thugs, cheaters, fakes, men on the down
low and other sexually indiscriminate males.
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© Copyright Gillis Triplett Ministries.
2004 - All Rights Reserved. International copyright secured.
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